Divorce Lawyer Draper Utah

Articles

The post Divorce Lawyer – Where are divorce records filed? appeared first on Utah Divorce Lawyer.

source http://lawyerdivorceutah.com/divorce-in-utah/divorce-lawyer-where-are-divorce-records-filed/

Monday 10 April 2017

Riverton 84065 Salt Lake Co. UT divorce lawyer consultation cost

What to Do for Checking Divorce Records Online

When you need to Protect your Children from a Parent after a Divorce

It can be difficult to decide to get a divorce when you are afraid of what will be going on with your children when they are out of your sight. Sometimes it is unfounded fear that has to do with control issues. Other times though it has to do with the history of the other parent that has lead up to the divorce.

If a parent has problems with alcohol or drug abuse the children may be in danger. There is enough evidence to suggest that the behaviors of such individuals are often unpredictable. A history of violent behavior is another reason to try to keep the children from being alone with that parent. Even if the children were never physically harmed, they may have witnessed such behavior or been emotionally abused.

Sexual abuse is a complaint that can come up as well. This is even harder to prove as many parents claim it as a ploy to prevent children from leaving. It has been proven false in enough cases to make judges weary. Yet sexual abuse on children at the hands of their own parents does happen. Make sure you follow the legal advice of your attorney if you have such claims to bring up in order to protect your children from further abuse.

It is very important that you have as much information documented as you can. While you don't necessary want to drag your spouse through the mud you have every right to protect your children. You may have documents on file with the local police department. Yet many people don't report such incidents and so they may not be there.

Document witnesses though that may have seen what was taking place. Neighbors may have seen arguments, friends may have seen bruises, and your doctor may have information on file as well. Keep in mind that the courts may view a great deal of the information like this you bring in as hearsay but do what you can to get them to see the relevance of it.

If nothing else they may order an evaluation of both parents. This way they can get an expert opinion about the mental well being of the individuals. These assessments are in place to look for patterns of behavior that may not be good for children to be exposed to. The court is often in a difficult position though. On one hand they don't want to prevent children from seeing a parent due to the stories of the other. However, they definitely don't want to place children into the hands of a person who is going to cause them harm.

The court may rule that there isn't enough evidence to prove the parent shouldn't be alone with the children. They may decide that parenting classes as well as anger management or drug/alcohol treatment must be completed before they can be alone with the children. The court also has the right to initiate only supervised visitations for that parent.

If you feel your children are in danger at the hands of the other parent though you need to speak up. We read too many cases these days of children being abused, neglected, and even killed at the hands of a parent. It is your right and your duty as their parent to do all you can to get the facts out there and to protect them from any such harm.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707

The post Riverton 84065 Salt Lake Co. UT divorce lawyer consultation cost appeared first on Utah Divorce Lawyer.

source http://lawyerdivorceutah.com/utah-2/affair-with-divorce-lawyer-riverton-84065-salt-lake-co-ut/

Midvale 84047 Salt Lake Co. UT chat with divorce lawyer

My Wife Wants a Divorce But I Don't - What Do I Do?

A divorce is always a hard decision to make whether the husband and wife were together for only a short time or for long years. Not only does it involve emotional distress but division of conjugal properties as well.

When couples decide on who should get this or that conjugal property which they acquired as husband and wife, legal documents known as deed are necessary. These documents are crucial to legally transfer a certain property from one person to another. One vital form is called the quit claim deed.

A quit claim deed is referred to as such because it quits or ceases a person's claim or interest on a real estate property and passes it to another person. There is no guarantee, though, when it concerns the rights of the person receiving the property.

Divorce situations

A divorce is just one of several situations where a quit claim deed proves necessary. An example would be a husband foregoing interest in the property that his wife owns. In this situation, the husband who quits claim on the property is referred to as the grantor while the wife who owns the property is called the grantee. Whatever risks involved here especially since there's no warranty on the title will be taken care of by the wife.

A quit claim deed is also needed if a married person who solely owns a property, which he or she bought prior to getting married, sells the property concerned to a third party. Executing a quit claim deed, in this instance, serves to ensure that the other spouse no longer has any interest to reclaim the property later on. With the absence of this deed, it is possible that the spouse could come back to claim ownership of the property.

In another divorce case, one spouse say, the wife, may want to stay in the conjugal home. The wife then needs to ask for a quit claim deed from her husband so she could claim sole interest in the residential property.

Names and mortgage

A quit claim deed should show the legal names of the parties involved in the transaction. In the case of divorced couples, the deed should bear the husband and wife's legal names or the same names that appear in their divorce decree. However, should both spouses wish to live in separate homes and would like to retain ownership of their conjugal property, this document will not be necessary.

As for mortgage concerns, a quit claim deed does not release the person quitting claim from his mortgage obligations. However, to remove the person who quits claim from the mortgage, the mortgage has to be refinanced through the name of the grantee or the person to whom the interest has been transferred.

In a divorce, a spouse can only claim ownership of the property and mortgage by refinancing the mortgage after the home has been conveyed to him or her. It is important to note, though, that many lenders will only allow a divorced individual to refinance a property if he or she has been on title to the said property for at least one year.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707

The post Midvale 84047 Salt Lake Co. UT chat with divorce lawyer appeared first on Utah Divorce Lawyer.

source http://lawyerdivorceutah.com/utah-2/divorce-lawyer-for-cheap-midvale-84047-salt-lake-co-ut/

Magna 84044 Salt Lake Co. UT child custody attorney free consultation

My Wife Wants a Divorce But I Don't - What Do I Do?

Adultery is by far the most adversarial type of divorce case. Divorce proceedings involving adultery are, as a general rule, very stressful for both spouses.

There are many reasons why people engage in adultery. Anyone can feel insecure, lonely and in need of validation at any time, even within a long and stable relationship. Individuals and relationships go through many different stages. The needs of the spouses can change over time, because of age, background, personality traits and emotional needs. In most adultery cases, the cheating spouse is not seeking a divorce. Generally, they are not thinking that he or she might end up losing close contact with their children.

Not every adultery situation ends in a divorce. But when it does and minor children are involved, then the behavior of the unfaithful spouse can have a negative effect on his or her custody and visitation rights. This is particularly true if that same parent devoted more time to his or her extramarital relationship than to his or her own children.

In a divorce, proceeding adultery can provoke very strong animosities between the two parties. The innocent partner might want to punish the cheating spouse by not allowing him or her to relate to their children. If you are granted custody of your children and your unfaithful ex-spouse was granted visitation rights, the last thing you want to do is to interfere with those rights. Keep in mind that even when engaging in adultery, a parent can still be a great parent. Not only that, but also keep in mind that the visitation order is a mandate of the court that you must observe. If you fail to comply with a court order you might be found in contempt. In some states, being found in contempt of court may mean jail time.

Therefore, no matter how much you hate your ex-spouse, do not interfere with the visitation schedule approved by the court. This can result in you losing custody of your children, having them taken away from you, and/or spending time in jail.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707

The post Magna 84044 Salt Lake Co. UT child custody attorney free consultation appeared first on Utah Divorce Lawyer.

source http://lawyerdivorceutah.com/utah-2/7-genius-tips-from-divorce-lawyers-magna-84044-salt-lake-co-ut/

Draper 84020 Salt Lake Co. UT adoption attorneys near me

Divorce Mediation vs Traditional Divorce

Divorce - How to rebuild your life - how to file for divorce

Divorce should be considered as a last resort to fix a relationship problem. This type of procedure is very serious and it has to be a decision that is well thought out before attempting to start the process. You need to make sure that you are ready for this type of drastic measure in order to help your relationship get better.

When you are filing for divorce, you will want to notify the court that you are going to proceed with the dissolution of your marriage. This is something that means you are not able to work the marriage out any more and you want to put it to an end. You will file a summons and petition the court in your county. Ultimately it is then in the courts hands and you will have to wait to hear when the actual hearing will be to determine the next step.

Before you decide to file for divorce, you will want to choose the proper state and county to file your papers. In order to start your divorce proceedings, you will want to make sure that you are going to the right place first. You must make sure that the divorce is occurring in the county where you or your spouse lives.

You must make sure that you are ready for the long haul in a divorce. You will find that the proceedings will go on until a conclusion is reached about all of the issues that are brought up. This can take a short time or a longer period of time depending on the issues and what each party is ready to do about it. There are going to be many different alternatives in a divorce proceeding. You will want to make sure that you are open minded and going in to the process with good intentions at the same time.

You may have to go to court in order to figure out what is best for you and you family. You may have to talk to a judge and let them decide for you if you are not able to come to a resolution together. The judge will take into consideration everything that is said so that he can make the best decision for everyone that is involved in the proceedings. You may want to make sure that you are ready for this type of outcome to happen.

You will probably find it to be necessary to hire and attorney to take care of the proceedings in your divorce. You will want to make sure that you are represented well so that you are not putting yourself at risk for coming up short in the end. You want have your message sent to the courts loud and clear so that you are able to make sure that your side of the story is heard. There are many factors that have to be decided in a divorce hearing and you want to do your best to have it ruled in your favor.

The last thing that you should want to do is make the divorce a messy one. You should not want to make it hard for the other person just for spite. This is not a good idea because all it will do is add more stress on you and may even hurt your case. You want to make sure that you are doing what you can to make this procedure go as quickly and fairly as you can. That would be best for everyone involved including you and the family around you.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707

The post Draper 84020 Salt Lake Co. UT adoption attorneys near me appeared first on Utah Divorce Lawyer.

source http://lawyerdivorceutah.com/utah-2/divorce-lawyer-questions-and-answers-draper-84020-salt-lake-co-ut/

North Salt Lake 84054 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer questions

The Realities Of A Divorce, Is It Worth It?

Nowadays one can find free divorce records, especially records that date far back. If you are looking for records that date back as far as the early 1900's you will be able to obtain these records on websites such as Ancestry.com and RootsWeb.com. However, this can be a challenging task as divorce was not a common factor way back then.

In addition there many libraries that have local history rooms and vital records are kept their dating back centuries. One can also obtain such documents and records at your local county or state government building. If you are seeking any recent records then you can obtain these for no cost online or at your local county office.

Divorce records are needed for various reasons. If you are getting married once again, you will need your previous divorce paper before you will be issued with a marriage license. These particular records are on public display and are available to whoever needs a record. Some records can be obtained free and other need to be paid for. The cost will depend on which state you reside in and which state you want a record from.

For example the state of California charges $13 and New York City $10, and each state has its own cost for copies of public records. One of the most helpful resources when looking for vital records is the internet. One can go directly to the National Center for Health Statistics and obtain any information you require such as death and birth certificates, to marriage certificates and divorce documents from any state.

There are hundreds of other helpful websites such as Akiba.com and SearchSystems.com as well as many others. These sites can help you obtain the documentation you need easily and efficiently. Yes they will charge a small fee and may be slightly more than the vital records department. However, it is worth it in the long run. If all the above fail you can then get a private investigator to do a search for you, as they have access to divorce records that are not available. This option is rather costly. This process is guaranteed success or no payment.

Most divorce records are not confidential material making it legal to obtain a copy as well as do some research on this type of document. All you need is a computer and internet access and you can find the information you are looking for, although not 100% guaranteed.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707

The post North Salt Lake 84054 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer questions appeared first on Utah Divorce Lawyer.

source http://lawyerdivorceutah.com/utah-2/divorce-lawyer-hourly-rate-north-salt-lake-84054-davis-co-ut/

Layton 84041 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer help

We've Decided to Get a Divorce Now What?

As the time modernizes, people getting surrounded by rules, laws and mostly needs a lawyer. A person practicing law is termed as lawyer and lawyers are of many types. Now a days, divorce has become a very important issue as it not only affects the couple but probably their children too. A divorce lawyer has great role in handling these cases which would be better to their clients.

What does a divorce lawyer do?

Variety of lawyer is available from criminal law to divorce law to patent law. They are known to the legal procedures through which they suggest and help their clients to resolve their problem by legal means.

Education and licensing

Divorce lawyers must graduate from law school where they learn about divorce law, family law and ethics. After graduating from college the law student must give a law examination through which they can get license to acquire their work on future. This license is only responsible for any lawyer of their genuine.

DIVORCE

It is the separation of marriage couple who don't want to stay together. It is the solution of failure of any marriage and it has many cause regarding fights, domestic violence, extramarital sex, midlife crisis, addiction like alcoholism, gambling etc.

Many times divorce affects children's academic, schooling, mental depression as well. These are not only making trouble to the couples but also to their family, work and profession. Society might also face some problems of imbalance in the surrounding.

DUTIES OF A DIVORCE LAWYER

A divorce lawyer works on child custody, disputes, leases and trusts and they help their client in their respective problems. They mostly spend their time in gathering evidence drafting papers and filing documents in the court. They collect all the information and represent in front of the judge.

They must have responsibility towards quick process and should not harass their clients by demanding more fees.

SKILLS

A divorce lawyer must be skilled at or focused on interaction with people to win confidence and respect from their clients. A trained profession, a divorce lawyer must be calm and sensible as their work might be strict towards the emotions and feeling.

LEGAL ADVICE

Married couples are advised to drop the decision of taking divorce and compromise to leave in peace so that no further conflicts would occur later. They are also informed about the child custody, property distribution to which more problems could occur and for this they should drop the idea.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707

The post Layton 84041 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer help appeared first on Utah Divorce Lawyer.

source http://lawyerdivorceutah.com/utah-2/divorce-lawyer-help-layton-84041-davis-co-ut/

Kaysville 84037 Davis Co. UT adoption lawyer near me

Learn More About a Divorce Lawyer

Many people used to go to church and looked after their families. Today's statistics show that there are less people who do this and therefore the need for divorce lawyers has become widespread. Census data from 2010 reveals that break ups in rural areas are fast increasing and there is more need for these lawyers.

Today it is more likely that a divorce attorney will have more clients in the rural areas than in the major cities. Beyond the big metropolitan cities there is a chance that these attorneys will attend to couples and families who are close to breaking up.

Education is a very important reason why many people will be opting for these lawyers within the rural areas. The people in rural rarely have college degrees and this only means that they are not able to manage their marriages well thus break ups are a common scenario.

The problem here is that one person will be more educated than the other. The result of this is that each partner will have a different perspective on issues and this usually creates friction. The emerging situation is one where each partner feels like the other partner does not understand them perfectly thus leading to separation.

Today the issue of breaking up or divorcing is looked at as liberation by many people. In the past however this was looked at as a weakness and therefore everyone tried their best to hold it together. To make sure that people perceived them as strong enough many marriages in rural America tried as much as possible to keep the marriage alive.

Trying to keep the marriage together meant that each partner tried to play their role fully. The man tried to make sure the lawn was well looked after while the woman tried to ensure that the family was clean. Those that attained an education began to realize that they had no reason to stay in the marriage. Many began to discover higher levels of self confidence and as a result divorce began to increase.

The rural American society has increasingly began to need divorce lawyers and for this reason those who have attained higher levels of education have chosen not to get married altogether. While this was mostly attributed to the rural areas it has consistently come into the dwellers of the large metropolitan societies.

The demand for more divorce attorneys does not exactly mean that people who go through a divorce now want to remain single for a long time. Those who at one point had a spouse but are now single are also looking to get back onto the dating scene and restart or rebuild themselves while getting into new relationships.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707

The post Kaysville 84037 Davis Co. UT adoption lawyer near me appeared first on Utah Divorce Lawyer.

source http://lawyerdivorceutah.com/utah-2/a-divorce-lawyer-kaysville-84037-davis-co-ut/

Farmington 84025 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer for cheap

How the Utah Code Affects Custody and Visitation Schedules

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707

The post Farmington 84025 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer for cheap appeared first on Utah Divorce Lawyer.

source http://lawyerdivorceutah.com/utah-2/divorce-lawyer-near-me-farmington-84025-davis-co-ut/

Clearfield 84015 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer questions

How the Utah Code Affects Custody and Visitation Schedules

The number of divorces has trebled over the past half century and is continuing to rise. The most recent figures from the Office for National Statistics reveal there were 313,600 marriages and 167,100 divorces in the UK during 2004, up from 305,900 marriages and 154,600 divorces in 2000. However, the fallout particularly on the financial side can be felt for years afterwards if the process is not managed properly from the outset.

The emotional aspects of separation can be difficult enough without having to address the minutiae of budgets, pensions, savings and investments. But it is vital to dedicate time to sorting out the financial details and seek professional advice or you could end up paying a heavier than expected price for the split.

People are planning for their divorces now both before and during their marriage and wealth protection is a whole new issue that needs to be considered.

This trend could be partly apportioned to last years high-profile litigations, known as the Miller and McFarlane cases, which redefined the concept of compensation where wives gave up good earning careers to have children and deal with the domestic side of the family.

In particular, the Miller case also demonstrated that even where a marriage did not last very long, this does not necessarily affect the principle of equal division of matrimonial assets.

Before potential financial settlements can be discussed, anyone considering filing for divorce needs to work out how much the divorce process itself will cost.

Any action will obviously depend on the individual circumstances of the case, but there are some general themes to bear in mind. The earlier you plan for a possible divorce the better. Taken to extremes, cynics - often including those who have been married and divorced before - argue that a pre-nuptial agreement is worth considering. While pre-nuptial agreements are not binding under British law, they are increasingly being given greater priority in court, after the Miller and McFarlane cases.

Even so, the vast majority of couples do not consider pre-nuptial contracts. For those who find themselves sadly overtaken by events it is important to build up a record of your partner's finances.

For couples with joint bank accounts or credit cards, both parties are jointly and severally liable for any outstanding debts. That means there is no splitting of the debt between couples on divorce and lenders reserve their legal right to pursue either or both parties for the entire debt, regardless of what the divorced couple may view as their share.

Banks can also freeze an account on the request of either party if there is a dispute. But if an account is not frozen, then the account's normal terms and conditions apply. For example, that means one partner can withdraw funds without the other's permission.

Any other action, such as changing the account to another type of account, can only be taken with the written agreement of both parties.

Two people are not jointly responsible for debts taken out in individual names just because they are married. The marriage has nothing to do with it. So, your partner could have a £10,000 loan in his name and you are not liable for it, he is. It depends whether or not you took out the debt in joint names. This is an important distinction to make.

However, it could get messy if you are both named on a mortgage and the deeds of the property and your partner cannot afford to pay a loan in his name. The creditors can then apply for a charge on his share of the equity in the property.

For example, this might have nothing to do with the wife if it is a loan to the husband's business but the family home could still be at risk.

There have been several court cases in recent years where banks have sought to repossess homes where wives have signed agreements for loans to their husband's business but subsequently denied having understood the consequences.

Most people's second-most valuable asset is their pension fund. Usually, this will be in the husband's name and, often, a non-earning wife may have little or no pension fund of her own.

However, there are also cases where the wife has access to a final salary or defined-benefit pension which might be far more valuable than a husband's money purchase or defined-contribution scheme and so could substantially alter the division of assets. Anyone involved in a divorce should be aware of the three main options facing them if a private pension pot has been built up.

The first possible arrangement is known as offsetting, where couples agree one party keeps the pension while the other gets the house, usually as a home for children. Although this can cause problems in the future as the person with the house still needs something to live on when they retire. You sign away those pension rights at your peril. The second option is known as ear-marking, where the parties agree that the individual with the pension will pay a percentage of it to the other party on retirement. The problem here is that in the meantime the person with the pension still has control of it and so this may not work out to the advantage of the other party. The third option, called pension splitting, is where the person with the pension allocates a part of it to the former partner and those assets are then transferred into a pension in the former partner's name. In the majority of cases, could be the most attractive solution as it gives the person acquiring the pension control and they are not reliant on their spouse for those pensions rights.

You may get shared additional state pension if you divorce or have your marriage annulled after December 2000 or if your civil partnership ends.

Often women are still reliant upon their husbands to provide for them in retirement. However, in the case of a divorce this can often leave the ex-wife with little or no pension provision.

Both parties should get their financial house in order as soon as possible and avoid attempting to conceal any assets as the process is based on both parties making full disclosure of their assets and liabilities.

The number of divorces where family wealth was split half and half between husband and wife more than doubled in 2005, up to 63 per cent of cases, against 30 per cent in the previous year, according to forensic accountants Grant Thornton.

Any assets transferred between husband and wife in the tax year of separation are free of capital gains tax (CGT). So, while January is a popular time for people to file for divorce for emotional reasons, financially April 6 may prove a wiser choice.

If you separate on April 1, you only have a small window of a few days before the end of the tax year and realistically you are not going to get everything sorted in that time. People may decide to wait until April 6 so you can benefit from the whole of the tax year to move assets around without the tax implications.

If either party has brought assets to the marriage, it is important that records are kept as it is possible that those assets may be ring-fenced and excluded from the settlement.

But if filing for divorce is the only option, taking time to plan the split and filing for divorce at the start of the tax year instead may be your best financial move.

Basic planning

Gather information and keep records of your partner's financial income, gains and assets
Don't tell the bank of a dispute as they may freeze the account, leaving you with no money to fight your corner
Keep records of your expenditure, to prove your standard of living
Check whether you should be entitled to some of your partner's pension

If you would like to find out more about the services that we provide, please visit our website http://www.mfgsolicitors.com to arrange a meeting.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707

The post Clearfield 84015 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer questions appeared first on Utah Divorce Lawyer.

source http://lawyerdivorceutah.com/utah-2/divorce-lawyer-domestic-abuse-clearfield-84015-davis-co-ut/

Centerville 84014 Davis Co. UT affair with divorce lawyer

How to Find Divorce Records Online - How to Confirm If Someone Is Divorced

It doesn't matter whether you were the one who wanted the divorce or whether you were the one who was left - the first year following divorce is difficult. In all likelihood, you're living alone for the first time in years. That is either a shock or a relief, depending on the type of marriage you were in. Regardless, it's a big adjustment.

While you may have had other losses in your life, in my experience, there are few that disrupt a person as totally as divorce. It impacts your mental health, your financial security, your family relationships, your home and your children. It is probably an experience you haven't been through before, so you're unprepared for the many issues that arise.

If you were the one who initiated the divorce you may feel guilty and worried about what the divorce may be doing to your spouse and children. If you left because you felt abused in the relationship, you may still be angry. You might feel resentful towards your ex for putting you in the position of having to make such a difficult choice.

If you left because you were in love with someone else - you probably feel guilty but you may also be looking forward to the future. It's normal to have contradictory feelings. This goes with the territory when it comes to making any major life decisions.

If you were the one who was left, you are probably feeling abandoned and possibly in shock. The prospect of being alone and in the position of having to rebuild your life is surely overwhelming. Being left is experienced by most as a major rejection. It impacts a person's confidence and self-esteem. If your spouse left you for someone else it's a double injury.

Off and on during the first year following divorce, you may be flooded with emotion - sadness, anger, despair, guilt, hope, relief - any and all of these are normal. In time, the waves of emotion recede. You will eventually feel less emotionally disrupted.

In addition to being periodically flooded with feelings, the first year following divorce brings many changes. You may be faced with moving and resettling yourself and your children in a new home. Often this home is not as comfortable as the home you left. Hopefully your children will be able to remain in the same school. This will lessen the disruption to their lives. Even if you are a truly conscientious parent, your children may evidence some behavioral or emotional symptoms related to the divorce. These are more likely if the divorce was contentious or if you and your ex are still angry and fighting with one another.

If your children are in grade school, the most common symptoms they exhibit following divorce are aggressiveness towards their peers or siblings. Their teachers may report that they seem preoccupied and inattentive during class. They may begin wetting the bed or have nightmares and ask to sleep with you. They may be more clingy and get upset when you leave them at preschool or school. In fact, they may get upset with almost any separation from either you or your ex. For information about how teenagers and adult children respond to their parents' divorce, see Will My Children Be Alright?

The symptoms I've mentioned above are normal. The best way to deal with them is to spend one-on-one time with your child. Let them know both in words and through your actions that you are not leaving them. Children sometimes think their misbehavior caused the divorce. It's very important for you to make crystal clear that this is not the case.

Be especially attentive to making sure your children aren't triangled between you and your ex. In other words -- DON'T ask them questions about what your ex is doing, who they are seeing, what they are buying, where they are going, etc. Your children don't want to be the conduit between you and your ex and it's not fair to put them in this position. This sort of questioning is a way of hanging on to your ex. In addition, DON'T talk negatively about your ex to your children. After all, your ex is their parent too. In most instances, this negativity back fires. Children feel angry towards the parent who's being critical.

The best thing you can do for your children is to work through your own feelings of anger towards your ex. If you're unable to manage your anger, seek counseling.

During the first year there are many events that will awaken your feelings of sadness, anger or guilt. The first of these emotional events occurs when the divorce is legally finalized. Despite the fact that you and your ex may have been wrangling over settlement and custody issues for some time, the day the divorce becomes finalized may be traumatic for one or both of you. Once the divorce is legal - your marriage is truly over. This event affects people in different ways but it's not unusual to have some sort of emotional reaction to it.

Holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and other family occasions are especially difficult. It's a good idea to have plans with friends or to do something special for yourself on these occasions. Creating new rituals is an important part of rebuilding your life. In time, you won't be so aware of these occasions, but during the first year you may be very aware of them and they will, in all likelihood, stir up feelings.

There is one exception to what I've said above. It concerns those who have been involved in an affair prior to divorce or those who immediately get involved in a relationship following divorce. These folks face different issues. See my article, The Rush to Remarry and The Affair.

It usually takes people two years to adjust after the literal and emotional upheaval of divorce. And it's not uncommon for this adjustment process to take longer. Each person is unique. The length of the marriage, the nature of the marriage, the reasons for divorce, the actual divorce process and whether you are the one who left or the one who is being left - all of these factor into how long it will take to recover.

The best thing you can do in the first year following divorce is to be patient and kind with yourself. Try to accept the conflicting feelings you have. Don't try to avoid your grief, sadness and loneliness by getting prematurely involved in a new relationship. Work on developing a support system and try to develop new rituals and activities that are fulfilling. You are entering a new chapter in your life. While there are many challenges, it is a time ripe for reinvention and for creating a life that's full.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707

The post Centerville 84014 Davis Co. UT affair with divorce lawyer appeared first on Utah Divorce Lawyer.

source http://lawyerdivorceutah.com/utah-2/divorce-attorney-centerville-84014-davis-co-ut/

Boulder Garfield County UT divorce lawyer questionnaire

Divorce Mediation vs Traditional Divorce

Follow these guidelines to make the transition of divorce and the process of family restructuring and rebuilding easier for you and your children.

1. If you have not done so already, call a truce with your Ex. (Note: Your Ex does not have to take the same action.) Divorced parents can succeed at co-parenting. That success may not begin with harmony but, at a minimum, a ceasefire is necessary.

2. You are stuck with each other forever. One day, you will be Grandma and Grandpa to the same babies. And when these babies are grown they will repeat the stories that they heard about Grandma and Grandpa. This will be your legacy. How do you want to be depicted?

3. Divorce creates a breakdown of trust and communication. Accept this and work towards rebuilding trust and communication with the other parent, even if it feels like you are doing all of the work. And, be patient, emotional wounds need time to heal.

4. Establish a business relationship with your former spouse. The business is the co-parenting of your children. Business relationships are based on mutual gain. Emotional attachments and expectations don't work in business. Instead, in a successful business communication is up-front and direct, appointments are scheduled, meetings take place, agendas are provided, discussions focus on the business at hand, everyone is polite, formal courtesies are observed, and agreements are explicit, clear, and written. You do not need to like the people you do business with but you do need to put negative feelings aside in order to conduct business. Relating in a business-like way with your former spouse may feel strange and awkward at first so if you catch yourself behaving in an unbusiness-like way, end the conversation and continue the discussion at another time.

5. There are at least two versions to every story. Your child may attempt to slant the facts in a way that gives you what she thinks you want to hear. So give the other parent the benefit of the doubt when your child reports on extraordinary discipline and/or rewards.

6. Do not suggest possible plans or make arrangements directly with pre-adolescent children. And, always confirm any arrangements you have discussed with an older child with the other parent ASAP.

7. The transition between Mom's house and Dad's house is often difficult. Be sure to have your children clean, fed, ready to go, and in possession of all of their paraphernalia when its time to make the switch. Better yet, if possible avoid the dreaded switch by structuring your time sharing so that weekends start Friday after school and end with school drop-off on Monday morning.

8. Do not screen calls from the other parent or limit telephone contact between your child and the other parent. Instead, ensure that your child is available to speak to the other parent when s/he is on the telephone.

9. Do not discuss the divorce, finances, or other adult subjects with your children. Likewise, avoid saying anything negative about other parent and his/her family and friends to your children.

10. Children are always listening - especially when you think they're not. So, avoid discussions regarding the divorce, finances, the other parent, and other adult subjects when your children are within earshot.

11. Avoid using body language, facial expressions or other subtleties to express negative thoughts and emotions about the other parent. Your child can read you!

12. You can discuss your feelings with your children to the extent that they can understand them. But, if you let your child know that you are terrified of the future, your child will be terrified too. Instead, keep a balanced emotional perspective that focuses on the difference between feelings and facts.

13. Do not use your child as a courier for messages or money.

14. Support your child's right to visit their grandparents and extended family. Children benefit from knowing their roots and heritage. And, children love tradition. Extended family provides children with a sense of consistency, connection, and identity - especially during divorce. Remember neither extended family is better or worse - they are just different.

15. Avoid the urge to question your child or press him for information regarding the details of your co-parents personal or professional life.

16. Each parent must establish and maintain his or her own relationship with the children. Neither of you should act as a mediator between the children and the other parent. And, neither of you should act as the defense attorney, presenting a child's case to the other parent.

17. Be on time for pick-ups and drop-offs. Do not enter the other parent's home unless you are invited in.

18. Your child's relationship with his parents will influence his relationships for the rest of his life. Never put your child in a position where he has to choose between his parents or decide where his familial allegiances lie. Instead, allow him to love both parents without fear of angering or hurting the other.

19. Do not take it personally if your teenager prefers to be with his/her friends. Don't push, but remain available. If you feel rejected and back-off, your teen may feel rejected in return.

20. Expect that your children may feel confused, guilty, sad and/or abandoned in response to the divorce. Acknowledge their feelings as normal and remind them that even though the family is undergoing a major change, you and their Dad/Mom will always be their parents.

21. Even if the other parent disappoints your child or fails to honor a time commitment, you will tell the child that in spite of this error the other parent loves the child very much.

22. If your kids want to talk, shut-up and listen.

23. Keep your children informed about the day-to-day details of their lives and your separation/divorce in a way that they can understand.

24. Maintain as many security anchors (continuation of relationships, rituals, and the environment) as possible.

25. Don't overindulge your children out of guilt or in an attempt to "buy" them. Children want to stay up late but they need rest. Children want candy but they need vegetables. Children express financial wants but they have emotional needs. Give your children a small amount of what they want and a lot of what they need.

26. Remember no one is all bad or all good. Be honest (with yourself) about your ex's and your own strengths and weaknesses.

27. Be consistent in how you discipline your children. Set boundaries, giving them freedom within a limited area, and enforced rules outside of the "corral."

28. Avoid giving mixed messages or false hopes of reunification.

29. Remember that schedules will have to change from time to time to accommodate circumstances and your child's development. If you need to change the schedule notify your co-parent ASAP. When your co-parent needs to change the schedule show a relaxed flexibility and go with the flow.

30. Share good memories, but do not live in the past.

31. Consider occasionally separating your children in order to give each parent some individual time with each child.

32. Introduce your child to neighborhood children that she can play with at her second home.

33. Consider holding monthly family meetings, with a rotating chair, to discuss chores, problems, schedules, plans and challenges.

34. Coordinate with your co-parent so that school events, functions and activities are covered. Who will buy the school pictures? Who will handle field trips? Who will work the fund-raiser? Who will work on the science project? Who will buy the school supplies? Who will handle the teacher's gift?

35. Don't forget old family traditions and rituals - practice them and create new ones.

36. Be willing to separate your needs from the needs of your children and make their needs the priority.

37. Keep parenting issues separate from money issues.

38. If possible, tell your children about the pending separation together before one parent leaves. Plan a transition time if you can.

39. Remember to tell your children:
(a) Your father/mother and I made the choice to divorce because we thought it would be best for everyone.
(b) Both your father/mother and I love you and will always love you. The love that a parent has for a child never ends.
(c) Your mother/father and I are working together to make sure we take care of you.
(d) Your mother/father and I each have a special relationship with you. You can love us both and never feel that it means choosing between us, just like each of us loves you and your brother/sister.

40. Ensure that boy/girlfriends and potential step-parents go slow, stay out of the divorce, don't interfere in a child's relationship with either of his natural parents, and do not encourage the child to call them Mom or Dad.

41. Children, of any age, may be hesitant to spend time with a parent for a variety of reasons. Both parents should encourage the child to go with the other parent.

42. If you are not united it will confuse your child and confirm to him that he can manipulate you.

43. Make sure that your child's friends' parents know your co-parent and know that they can trust him/her with their child.

44. If you are a long-distance parent:
(a) Remember that your child is a digital native. On the other hand, depending on your age, you may be a digital immigrant. Use your child's advanced knowledge of technology to keep you connected.
(b) Watch TV together. Let your child know that you will be watching her favorite show and will be ready to talk about it.
(c) Give your child pre-addressed, stamped manila envelopes so that he can send you schoolwork and other paperwork.
(d) Make audio and video recordings for each other. Nothing to say? Record yourself reading a book and mail the book and the recording to your child.
(e) Remember small events. Send cards, pictures and letters for Halloween, Valentine's Day, The 4th of July, etc.
(f) Set up web cams on your computer and your kids' computers. Use video mail and YouTube to connect.
(g) Use My-space, Facebook, and Twitter to stay in touch, if you can do so privately and safely.
(h) Make sure that your kids have cell phones with your number programmed in. Use text messages and photos to stay in touch throughout the day.
(i) Keep up with schoolwork. Send teachers pre-addressed, stamped manila envelopes so that it's easy to send you updates. If you hear nothing be sure to initiate communications with teachers by telephone and email.

45. Befriend other divorced families that have been successful in the transition and use them as mentors.

46. Divorce is not an event, it is a process. Allow yourself, your ex-spouse and your children at least two years for readjustment.

47. Divorce in itself will not destroy your children. It is your reaction to the divorce that has the power to destroy their coping mechanisms. On-going conflict and emotionally unavailable parents who have regressed into boy/girl crazy adolescents are the real culprits.

48. Don't use your children to fill your need for companionship. If you don't have one, GET A LIFE!! This is crucial to your (and your child's) recovery from divorce. Seek out support from friends, family, support groups, a divorce coach. Consider entering into therapy with a licensed mental health professional. Consider joining Parents-Without-Partners, Co-dependent's Anonymous or a Church group for divorced/widowed persons.

49. Dissolving a marriage doesn't mean the dissolution of the family or your parenting obligations. In fact, while a family is undergoing the restructuring process the children need strong and caring parents more then ever. If you and/or your ex are too emotionally drained to be those parents find temporary substitutes who can give your kids what they need.

50. Every child needs at least one loving, stable parent. It is YOUR responsibility to be that parent. And, if your child is lucky enough to have an additional parent - a loving step-parent, rejoice - because no child can have too many people love him.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707